


i felt so symbolic yesterday

by Hexx



Series: this love language is music [4]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Lando and his one sided relationships with EVERYONE because he is a hopeless romantic, Like he's fine everyone he really is I swear, M/M, Multi, Pansexual Lando Calrissian, it's nothing but pining but like...not sad pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexx/pseuds/Hexx
Summary: Lando Calrissian enjoys not having any strings attached to his love life, it gives him more free time to think about all the people he loves.akaLando's heart is too big but also too busy and it's fine.





	i felt so symbolic yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Title take from the song Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows which is one of my all time favorite songs in the whole wide world.
> 
> Also, surprise! this series isn't just going to be a jyn/cassian dumping ground, I have plans for everyone else as well! I'm not sure of what to make of this other then the fact that I really wanted to write about Lando 'I wear Han Solo's clothes and hold Luke Skywalker's tiny waist while flirting with Leia' Calrissian.

“Hey beautiful, would you pass me that screw driver?” Lando said, not looking up from the instructions to the bar stool he’d been attempting to put together for the better part of an hour.

“There are four of us sitting here, who are you talking about?” Leia asked, sounding amused. Lando looked up to catch her eye across the table, smiling back with charm enough to match the mischievous sparkle in her eye. Han rolled his eyes at Luke with enough exaggeration that it moved his whole head, while Chewie didn’t even stir from his intense book reading.

“I’ll let the four of you fight it out to decide.” Lando offered, sounding pragmatic while his heart thudded violently in his chest. Leia just scoffed at him and shoved the tool across the table. It only got about half way to him and as Lando stretched out to grab it, Luke pushed it the rest of the way over and into his hand. Lando swallowed the lump in his throat as Luke gave him that stunning sunshine smile and he murmured his thanks. He retreated back to his bar stool, letting the moment pass as the conversation resumed around him.

It was the great tragedy of Lando Calrissian that he kept falling in love with all of his friends.

* * *

 

The first time Lando had laid eyes on Han had been the start of the worst and best thing to ever happen to him.

He remembers the grass under his soccer cleats as he stood on the home team’s field. He remembers the smell of teenagers burning the hot dogs in the concessions stand so badly that the air was almost overpowered with the rancid smell. Which was still somehow more pleasant to Lando then the pungent aroma of sweaty teenage athletes drowned in AXE body spray. He remembers the way Han’s voice cut through all the noise of the crowd from across the green to lance him right in the heart.

There he was. The asshole everyone had been talking about. The guy Qi’ra texted about with equal parts frustration and affection. The freshman disaster of a soccer player who was somehow a threat to Lando’s own growing reputation of freshman soccer jock of the year. The one whose arrogance people couldn’t help but compare to Lando’s self-confidence.  And his mouth felt a little dry because in all her reports of what her new school was like and the people she’d been getting to know, Qi’ra had never thought to mention that  the fucker was handsome.

He was smiling lopsidedly up at a massive hairy mess of a goalie and laughing. Lando tracked the line of his jaw for a moment before realizing that Han was looking back. They exchanged the brief nod expected of opponents about to face off and there was something about the lazy sweep of Han’s eyes over him that set every fiber of Lando on edge. So Lando hardened his gaze and lifted his chin, letting the self-confidence he wore like a cape over his skin shine through in Han’s direction. He was going to beat him and his team into the ground.

Lando remembers everything about that day except whose team won. So really, Lando only remembers the important details.

Like he remembers the solid build of Han when they collided painfully in the scrimitch. The way Lando’s knee throbbed from clipping Han’s hip as they went down. The smell of sweat and boy and body spray rising off him in the heat. Remembers the breathy laugh that rips from Han at the whole situation, the way he rolled sideways to get to his feet with ease despite the obvious pain that was twinging through him.

And Lando remembers the way Han’s hand felt as he reached down and hauled him back to his feet by his bicep.

They spend the rest of that first year hating each other. Publically sniping at one another whenever their paths cross. Sophomore year the sniping becomes banter, and when they run into one another at a corner convenience store at three in the morning Han smiles brightly at him with a rapidly forming black eye and a bottle of painkillers in his hand and a snide comment about the size condom Lando was purchasing. Junior year Lando pulls his car over on the highway to help change the tire on Han’s deathtrap of a van because Chewie’s arm is in a cast and Han looks like a lunatic trying to do it himself.  The first day of Senior year Han texted him, and Lando can’t remember how he got his number but this isn’t the first time they’d texted, and Han tells him he isn’t doing soccer this year because it’s conflicting with his after school job and he wanted to know if Lando wanted to come over and play Call of Duty sometime.

And the whole time, Lando loved him and hated him in equal measures. And somehow befriending Han managed to add just enough chaos and unnecessary bullshit to his life that Lando was never bored. And when Han rolled his eyes at the dramatic way Lando presented himself, and while he threw mocking jabs at Lando’s budding podcast and almost got Lando arrested many, many times, he always had some clever way of endearing himself in return. With obnoxiously ugly shirts he found at a thrift store that reminded him of Lando. With drunkenly attempting to remember what the ‘fucking name of your fucking audio diary’ is when talking it up to strangers at bars. With the way his hand pressed over Lando’s chest as they laid in the grass and struggled for air after managing to lose the cops and laughing at it all.

Han was not the first friend Lando had fallen in love with, but he was the one who had managed to stay by him the longest.

* * *

 

 “Your roommate is kinda hot.” Lando said in passing one day, leaning against the door to the stairwell as he watched Han come out of his tiny double with a bang. Han shot him his best disgruntled look as he pulled his leather jacket on, struggling for a moment before he realized he was trying to put it on upside-down.

“Don’t try to fuck him. But if you do happen to fuck him, don’t fuck him in our dorm room or I will smother you in your sleep.” Han groused as he squeezed past and jogged down the stairs. Lando laughed and looked back at the room one last time before turning and following.

Cassian Andor was hot and he was the type Lando usually went for when he went in for a fling. But unlike Han who was about as perceptive of people as a rock was perceptive of other rocks, he could tell that Andor wasn’t a fling type of guy. And if Lando had to think about it, which he did because he was the type to, Cassian wasn’t his type as far as long term interests went. He turned to follow Han, who was already at the bottom of the stairs and shoving his way outside so Lando had to yell to be heard as he replied,

“Noted.”

* * *

 

Lando had thought that maybe Han was trying to kill him the first time he showed up to their bar night with Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker trailing after him.

Between Leia’s quick wit, beautiful dark eyes, and unrelenting skill at talking Han into flustered silence and Luke’s golden farm boy charm, friendly smile and almost otherworldly dramatic one-liners Lando thought his heart was going to slam right out of his ribcage.

He couldn’t tell if Han noticed or not, though he probably did given the deliberate way he positioned himself between Lando and Leia in the booth. But at no point did Han prevent Leia from shoving him closer to Lando so she in turn could lean closer and share some of the more embarrassing stories about Han’s academic life that Lando wasn’t privy to. And he may or may not have been smirking at Leia in an ‘I told you so’ kind of way when Lando was left in mute awe at the way Luke told stories.

Lando lounged in the booth beside Han as Leia and Luke scooted through the crowd towards someone Leia had seen lingering near the jukebox that she recognized and watched them go. “Twins huh?” He asked as casually as he could without letting his voice waver.

“Twins.” Han confirmed with warm affection. Han was bad at staying in touch. Dropping off Lando’s radar for months at a time and turning up again with new scars and tall tales. However long he had been with the pair before he thought to introduce them to Lando was unclear, though his fondness for them was obvious. 

Unable to let it get sappy for risk of things getting sad Lando gave his friend a sharp nudge. “So have you three ever…?” And he reveled in the slideshow of emotions that played over Han’s expression as he proceed the question

“What? Fuck, gods no I- Listen Calrissian, you have a filthy mind-“

And Lando laughed, tilting his head back at the way Han went red all the way past the collar of his shirt. “You have! Oh son of bitch, you have too! Oh my god-“

“Listen.” Han said, quick to jump in and defend himself. “Listen yeah okay once. But like, at the time we didn’t know they were related and-“

“They didn’t know they were related?” Lando chokes, voice pitching higher at the shades of implication in the way Han’s panic rolled off him. “Wait, what happened- you have to-“

“What’s with him?” Leia asks, scooting in beside Lando and making them both jump. Luke joins Han on the other side of the round table, Chewie sliding in after him. When Chewie showed up was quite beyond Lando’s notice but also no entirely unusual. While Han was a barely functioning mess of codependency, Chewie was a very successful and self-sufficient adult.

Luke is perceptive in a way that doesn’t seem entirely innocent as he scan’s Lando’s face, a small smirk on his handsome lips. “I think Han is trying to tell how we all met, but he started in the middle instead of the beginning.” And Han somehow manages to get even redder.

And Lando feels the heat of Leia’s thigh as she leans closer to take a halfhearted swat at Han, who dodges by virtue of flopping boneless against Luke. And it’s like he’s known them forever, and it’s like they are lifelong friends and fuck this is another point in Han’s favor.

* * *

 

Lando’s interest in Leia burns hot, but he finds it burns only in tandem with his interest in Han. The thought of loving Leia on her own, besides the love he feels for her as his friend because lord knows he loves them all, doesn’t sit right in his belly. But he can’t really think of it because in a turn that is equal parts hilarious and equal parts exhausting to watch, Han and Leia can’t even get their own shit together.

But Luke Skywalker has Lando entirely smitten in a dangerous kind of simmering way. It lingers sometimes in the early morning twilight when his mind turns towards idle thoughts of domestic life. Imagines a home like his mother once had, sees himself standing in his childhood kitchen with Luke sitting on the counter watching him cook. It is a nice daydream, one that he only lets grow stronger when Luke lets his preference in partners drop casually in conversation.

Yes, he thinks he could love Luke Skywalker in the way that lasts and lasts and lasts. But Lando is a realist, and he knows how to read people. Knows that while Luke values his friendship and enjoys his company, he just doesn’t see him that way.

And Lando doesn’t let himself pine or wallow over it. He takes it like he takes everything. If he could love Han for nearly seven years and still bare to be his friend then he could easily do it with Luke. And Leia. And he does.

Doesn’t stop him from being an utterly shameless flirt and reveling in the way Luke’s blush burns across his skin.

* * *

 

“Are you ever going to settle down, man?” Han asks from the driver seat of his van, and Lando stares somberly at the ugly steering wheel cover Han had recently installed.

“That’s a bold statement coming from a man who can’t get laid regularly.” Lando says breezily and Leia laughs sharply from the backseat. Han shoots her a reproachful look in the rearview mirror and keeps his focus on Lando.

“I’m not talking about married, but I am talking about like…bringing a person around regularly.” Han says, turning towards Leia’s apartment building to pick up Luke and his lab partner. “I’m sick of being the one growing the friend group here. It’s a lot to put on one person.”

Lando and Leia scoff in sync this time and the look of discomfort that flickers over Han’s face is priceless.  
“I’m not looking for long term right now.”

“Don’t you want companionship? Like regular affection?” And Lando realizes belatedly that he hasn’t been on the receiving end of Han’s unnecessary mothering in some time. He wonders what spurred this on, but doesn’t bother to ask. Sometimes it’s nice to get attention like this.

“I get plenty of companionship and regular affection from you lot, I don’t want to be greedy.” Lando says and in many ways it’s the truth. He is very happy with his single lifestyle and his occasional ‘nothing serious’ friends with benefits. He watches Han shake his head and see’s Leia’s smile in the reflection of the windshield and he wonders if he has started to develop a kind of codependency of his own.

“Look,” He says because he can see Han turning that over in his mind. “It isn’t that I am unhappy with what I have. It isn’t like what you’re talking about is unwelcome, it just isn’t what I’m focused on right now. I’ve got my podcast and my business and I’m happy being young and ” Han glances at him from the corner of his eye, searching to see  if Lando meant it. “I’m just too much man for one person.”

And Leia laughs so loudly from the back seat that she wheezes and Han rolls his eyes at Lando’s toothy grin. But Lando means every word of it.

* * *

 

Jyn Erso frustrates and intrigues Lando in a way almost identical to his first feelings towards Han. It’s almost scary, if he’s honest. And he lets Chewie know because while Han never managed to figure Lando’s feelings for him out, Chewie had him clocked by their third meeting.

“Are we sure they’re not related?” He asks as Erso and Solo get into an absolute knock out drag out fight behind the IHOP over honestly, only god knows at this point. Everyone but Luke is too drunk at this point to remember and all he’s doing at the moment is standing beside the scrapping pair and informing them that hair pulling was a foul.

Chewie shrugs and mutters something unclear between his accent and the alcohol slur. In the backseat of the van Leia stirs long enough to lean out the window and ask who was winning.

“Jyn I think, but only cause she’s biting.”

“Her brother is going to be so mad at me for letting her get this trashed.” Leia says, sounding far more amused then worried.

“She single?” Lando asks, half joking and half curious. In the part of his brain that is entirely base instinct he can’t help but think as Jyn scrambles over Han to sit on his chest that she’d be something else in bed. Leia laughs and it turns into a yawn.

“She’s not your type Lando, she’s not really as similar to Han as she seems.”

And that statement feels loaded in a way that worries Lando and he looks at Leia but she’s drifting again. She reaches out to slip her hand into his through the window and gives it a squeeze and it feels like she’s squeezing his heart in his chest.

It was the great tragedy of Lando Calrissian that he kept falling in love with all of his friends. But lucky for him, they all loved him in return. Even if it wasn’t in the ways he always wanted. He contented himself with his private fantasies about them as he was want to have them, and felt no shame when he saw them next.

So what if none of them ever knew, and so what if maybe some of them did. He loves them all the same.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Me: If It's not explicitly stated in the context of the media, then it isn't really representation. It's pandering without worrying about backlash from conservative fans of the series.
> 
> Also me, a pansexual: You can pry pansexual Lando Calrissian from my cold, dead hands


End file.
